One thing that I feel is unique about my relationship is that both my boyfriend and I can discuss our prior relationships to each other with no fear of jealousy or resentment. We both understand that there were people we loved before we loved each other and that is a part of us, no matter what. You cannot change the past but you can accept that it has helped form who you've become. In fact, without your partners previous relationships they might not be the person that you know and love today.

Considering all of this the stray "I sometimes miss talking to them" comment is absolutely normal. I have also been known to share experiences with my boyfriend that happened in other relationships. Things they taught me, or things they did to me. If you know what I mean. Doing this allows them into a most typically private aspect of my life. It broadens the trust we have together and makes for most excellent conversation.

What I do not understand (and never will) are girls (and boys) who are afraid of their partners past relationships. That bitch better leave my boyfriend alone, he's MINE. As though a person were a possession and as though your jealousy is at all becoming...

Take note, readers. Sometimes wildly abnormal openness can prove for great leaps and bounds in relationships. Trust your partner. Trust them until they do wrong, and accept that simply "talking" to someone who is important to them or once was important to them is not "wrong". Have self confidence. You are the present. They were the past. And I'm sure you've got your own as well.

The other day I was walking around my hometown with a friend and her boyfriend when she did something that really shocked me. Coming from her, at least.

She was walking behind her boyfriend when a group of girls came past. After they'd gone by and were out of ear-sight she hit him in the arm (playfully, of course) and verbally assaulted him for "checking out those girls."

It's never been any surprise to me that my boyfriend (or any other guy, for that matter) is going to look at an attractive girl when she walks past. The only other option would be to pretend that she isn't there, or that she isn't attractive.

Perhaps this is easier for me to accept than other people because being very open with myself I will admit to my boyfriend when I find another guy attractive. This is called honesty, and does not threaten him because he knows that I too find HIM attractive and we are in a committed relationship.

It's okay to find people besides your significant other attractive. It's even okay to admit it sometimes. Finding the beauty in people is normal, and it's normal to want to express that in whatever way comes naturally. Whether that be by taking a quick glance, commenting "She had really nice hair!" or whatever else you want to do.

In my opinion it only speaks to your own self-confidence if you are not comfortable with the beauty in the other people around you.

But hey, as long as you're willing to admit that.

Yesterday was a good friend of mines 4 year anniversary with her boyfriend. The air was filled with a general sense of excitement and of course we had to talk about how cool it was that she was in such a serious relationship. (Is this a girl-rule? Do we have to talk about this? I guess that's a post for another time.)

Our conversation went something like this:

Her: Next week is our 4 year anniversary!!!! He BETTER surprise me with something good, he's NEVER surprised me with something good. That's his JOB.
Me: Hahaha, yeah he better... do that
Her: I'm going to buy him something, I got him something last month but it's our anniversary so I'm going to go pick him up something special, I wonder what he's going to plan or get for me.
Me: It better be... good...?... !
Her: I know, I'm going to be so pissed he just doesn't think of these things like he should.

I knew that the right response would have been something along the lines of "Your boyfriend should really respect our special anniversary and plan something special for the two of you! Like he should take you out to dinner and stuff! Do you think you're going to get some jewelry? Oh my gosh when are you guys getting married?! You're so cute together!"

But in my head all I was thinking was "You fucking bitch. Your boyfriend is a sweet guy who does shit for you every day of the week. What is so important about today that you need a fucking diamond ring, a car, a house, a hundred dollar dinner? Why should he get you shit? What is that going to prove? Kiss him on the lips and thank him for another year of domestic bliss you fool."

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but when you're a student with no job and no money should you really be expecting your boyfriend to scout out some expensive present for your anniversary? And besides that, should you really put all of your expectations into the fact that he is going to do something for you when he PROBABLY wont? Aren't you setting yourself up for a disappointing day? And then be mad at him when he doesn't, even though you knew he wouldn't? IF you have the endless need and desire for a special day, plan it TOGETHER. Split and expensive dinner out, hold hands, exchange in that glorious PDA, and call it a night. After all, a relationship is built on communication and sharing your lives together. Why should this one day be any different?